As I’m not known for being emotional, it may surprise you to know that emotional moments are not foreign to me. In particular are what I call the “Dad” moments - those times in fatherhood when you’re so happy you could (and nearly do) cry. Unfortunately, all of my dad moments are rather odd, but here goes:

Reading “The Hobbit” to Gareth in the hospital - This one almost doesn’t count since it was Gareth’s second day of life and he was largely unresponsive, having just the night before gone through his traumatic entry into this world. Still, it was something I really wanted to do, so I headed into a little bookstore in Danville, grabbed their last copy, and got back to the NICU to proceed with the narration. It was something I had always pictured doing as a dad, even if I didn’t picture having to do it in those circumstances.

Introducing Gareth to Quake 3 Arena - Holding him with one arm and gaming with the other, I sat Gareth in my lap so he could see what his dad did for fun. We’ve revisited Q3A a few times since then when I was adapting joysticks for his use as input devices. Since then we’ve moved onto other less bloody games.

Gareth’s first trip to a movie theater - For Shrek 2, of all things. Years have been spent honing the sharp edge of my movie snobbery. I am intolerant of chatter, children, phones, and comedians in my theater environment. As such, I was always very concerned about taking Gareth into a theater with his suction gear which consists of a small suction pump connected to a canister and tubing. When you kick it on, it makes quite a bit more noise than one would imagine, which does nothing for a normally quiet movie setting. After Shrek 2 had been in theaters over a month, I took Gareth to a show I thought would be largely empty. It sort of was, but there were enough other attendees that I started feeling self-conscious. But when the lights dimmed, the trailers played, and the opening of the movie started to run, I forgot about everybody and just marveled that I was sitting in a theater with my son. Seriously, I teared up. Then, about 10 minutes into it, Gareth lost all interest and started crying like crazy. We left shortly thereafter.

Gareth discovers that the soul still burns - Due to the various joysticks I have for console games, we eventually gave up on PC gaming and moved to the basement where Gareth discovered Donkey Konga, Taiko Drum Master, Dance Dance Revolution, and Soul Calibur. After just a little time with Soul Calibur, Gareth picked up on the fact that movement was handled with the joystick and attacks were handled by the buttons. He quickly learned to move his hand to the stick to position his fighter and then move that same hand to the buttons to kick, punch, and throw. How could I not be proud of that? He has now added Wii Sports Baseball to his list of regular games. He also has an insane love of video game theme songs - I have only to whistle the Donkey Konga theme or hum the intro to Taiko Drum Master to make him burst into instant laughter. No, he does not know the Mario theme.

Gareth faces down Darth Vader - I spent so much time worrying about taking Gareth away from his support staff (nurses, doctors, therapists) that I spent no time contemplating how great a vacation could be, so imagine the 180 I did when we arrived at DisneyWorld and almost instantly ended up on a stage with lightsaber on hand, swinging at Darth Vader. Holy shit. From that moment on, we all had a great vacation, and I had another dad moment. That one became a Gareth moment, too. He enjoyed telling everybody he knew that he fought Darth Vader and that daddy dropped the lightsaber.

Gareth gets his first bike - And probably his last.  About the time I decided to get back into bicycling, Gareth decided he loved nothing more than to pedal a trike around his preschool playground. From that moment, I planned for us to find a way to ride together. I got three dad moments out of this event: a first moment when he sat on his bike for his fitting; a second moment when we rode it for the very first time even though it was raining and in January; a third moment when we rode together in the RBR rally. Our ride in the Colyer 4th of July parade comes close, but that wasn’t emotional enough to qualify under my “Dad moment” rules.

Walking Gareth to school - This is the moment that inspired today’s entry. This morning, I walked Gareth to his second day of kindergarten, meeting one of his classmates on the way, hanging out while we waited for the crossing guard, and dropping him off in his classroom. On the way back, I just realized how great it felt to do that, to be an honest to goodness parent of a child old enough, smart enough, and lucky enough to be going to school like any other kid when his whole life has been stacked against him.

I’m bound to have plenty more dad moments in my lifetime, but these are a good start. Here’s a prediction, though - my next major dad moment will come when Gareth is able to express himself without the help of others. I’m going to be a blubbering mess when that happens.

And then I’m going to worry about all the stuff Brandy and I have said in front of him over the years. There are some words he definitely knows that shouldn’t be repeated in polite company.

As I get older and my family more complex, I find that going camping is a huge god damned production. This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy camping - I really do - but just check out this list of stuff we take:

To buy
Gallon Zip Loc bags
Batteries - 2 D, 1 brick
Firewood
Lunch Saturday - Something easy
Dinner - Mountain Pies
Bread
Pizza sauce
Cheese
Pepperoni
Butter
Breakfast Sunday - Eggs (beaters), bacon, juice
Lunch Sunday - Cold cuts, chips
Bread
Turkey
Mayo
Tomato
Lettuce
Potato or Sun chips
Snack - marshmallows
Diet Coke
Bottled water
Ice

To pack
Tent
Chairs
Flashlights
Sleeping bags
Pan
Cooler
Sleeping pads
Bikes
Draftmaster
Hatchet
Lighter
Newspaper
Mallet
Shovel
Gareth’s food and meds for two days
Gareth’s suction, catheters, and charger
Toys/books for Gareth
Diapers, wipes, et cetera
Clothes for the three of us
Swimsuits
Towels
Biking bag, water bottles, trike cushion
Kayak and related gear
Camera and batteries (recharge them)
trash bags
paper towels
bug spray
Toiletries
Sunscreen

Part of me wishes that our camping could be simplified to a tent, some trail mix, and a good pair of hiking boots, but the reality is that we are suburbanite flatlanders who require some level of comfort while recreating in the woods. One time, I even looked at prices for pop-up campers. Doing so filled me with the same sense of dread as shopping for a mini-van, but I know that, at some point, a camper will be more and more appealing to me.

Dear Santa
Originally uploaded by ratsinis.

Happy holidays, everybody. May you find joy with the ones you love.

Since our morning is going to be consumed by Gareth’s gifts and the arrival of my family for breakfast, Brandy and I exchanged our gifts this evening. Here is the haul:

• Pink Floyd The Wall, CD and DVD
• Call of Duty 3 for Xbox 360
• Monty Python desk calendar
• Battle for Middle-Earth II Rise of the Witch-King expansion pack
• NRS kayak paddle leash
• NRS Farmer John wetsuit

I was really gunning for that last one. It’s the thing that will make cold weather kayaking feasible. Yep, I tried it on. If you can imagine a black Michelin Man, then you’re pretty close to knowing what it looked like.

Dark Side Christmas
Originally uploaded by ratsinis.

We purchased and set up our Christmas tree today. I chose a tree that was too tall for our ceiling and far too wide to rest unobtrusively in our living room.

Fact of the matter is that we simply had to rearrange the furniture for it.

Even the guys we bought it from weren’t willing to lift it up onto our van. Instead, they delivered to our house at no extra charge just to save themselves the trouble. Yeah, it’s a big, heavy tree.

There’s a very clear Disney vs. Star Wars theme on the tree as Brandy and I continue to amass our preferred trinkets. Gareth is contributing far more to the Disney side with his various Pooh and Mickey ornaments. I need to swing that kid back over my way. We must bring balance to the Force. If only I could convince him to join me. Together we could rule the Christmas tree as father and son.

Make-A-Wish is granting Gareth’s wish. They’re cutting the check for RBR today and Rob (owner of RBR) is putting in the order this week.

In 2 months, Gareth will have a Hase Pino tandem bike. I’m just coming along to steer.

Pumpkins a-glow
Originally uploaded by ratsinis.

Halloween wasn’t too bad. Gareth did his treating at the mall (it’s easier to wheel him around there), I won “Most Courageous Costume” at work. And then Gareth went and lost his first tooth.

Pretty eventful, actually.

I was nearly ready to launch the fundraising effort to get Gareth a Pino when somebody went and referred him to Make-A-Wish.

The Make-A-Wish folks have contacted us and sent out medical release forms, which I sent back to them today. They need the release in order to talk to Gareth’s pediatrician as M-A-W relies upon the ped to determine whether or not the child is eligible and if the desired wish is acceptable considering the medical conditions.

We need to sit down with Gareth and see what it is he would like, but he has been very excited about the bike for weeks now. It’s a safe bet he’ll go for it. If so, this might mean we can get him out and riding without having to tap family, friends, and the community at large.

Assuming that M-A-W is going to grant his wish. If that falls through, we have the backup plan in the form of the fundraising.

Kettle Creek Lower Campground
Originally uploaded by ratsinis.

We took one last weekend to get out before the weather becomes unbearably cold, staying at the camp in Hammersley Fork.

While we were in the area, we stopped by for the Renovo Flaming Foliage Festival, which proved to be interesting. Renovo is a nearly dead town in the middle of nowhere that draws a majority of its economy from Lock Haven, State College, and welfare. Every year, they host the Flaming Foliage Festival to celebrate the changing colors of the leaves. Certainly, there is some beautiful scenery around there, but the town itself is a bit of a throwback. What really struck us were the 12 year olds walking around smoking cigarettes and the eight year olds shooting each other with Airsoft knockoffs. But we’re privileged yuppie flatlanders, we’re supposed to be shocked by such things (even though I lived in and frequented Renovo in my youth).

The Festival parade itself similarly harkened back to much, much simpler times. Looks like everybody was having fun, though. I enjoyed almost all of my carnie food except for the semi-raw hot sausage sandwich. Pro tip… if you are ever tempted to eat at Rita’s sausage stand, don’t. Go elsewhere.

We also managed to stop in and visit my grandmother, who I hadn’t seen since 1998. This was her first time meeting Gareth, which made the trip all the more interesting. Even after spending two hours with him, my grandmother still didn’t seem convinced that he was a sentient, aware being. Most people think we’re delusional when we say he is as smart and aware as any other kid - they can’t get beyond his lack of muscle control - but 80 year old women are especially tough nuts to crack.

Lessee… what else… Oh yeah, I did a dawn kayak paddle, hitting the water about 45 minutes before the sun came up. Sure was cold, though. There was frost on my kayak when I unloaded it and frost on it when I put it back on the rack over two hours later. It was a very peaceful paddle. Nobody else was on the water, and the folks in the nearby campsites were all asleep. They didn’t start stirring until about 8AM.

After packing up camp for the weekend, we took a drive around Kettle Creek to take in some fall color. That’s what the pic is from.

While the Hase Pino I talked about earlier certainly is the most awesome solution to my father/son/disability riding problem, there are other, more economical solutions available.

And credit goes to Robert Gentry over at Recumbent Bicycle Riders for pointing that out.

I chatted with him about what I was trying to achieve, and he came up with a couple of different ideas that didn’t involve a $5000+ purchase. One solution was a $1300 used recumbent tandem he had in house, but the seating arrangement on it meant that Gareth would spend the entire ride staring at my back with little else to see or do.

Another option is to take a Burley Piccolo and mount a recumbent seat to it. The Piccolo is a trailer bike, so I’d still need to buy my own upright, but there’s a Piccolo on eBay right now for $120. They go for around $350 new. Either way, much more reasonable than the Pino.

But wait… there’s a third option. Hase also carries a product called Trets. It’s a two wheeled recumbent trailer, made for kids, and goes for about $1,200. It also comes with a three point harness, which Gareth would definitely need. If RBR can get it for me at that price, I could probably purchase it with my year end bonus.

I just need to talk with Gareth and see if he’d find a trailer fun. One thing I love about the Pino is that it puts him out front so he can enjoy the rush of air and the feeling that he’s in the lead position, pedaling us forward. The trailers would diminish that somewhat.