In the early hours this morning as I fell in and out of sleep, I had one of those dreams that seems bizarre but really has understandable depth.  It went as follows…

I was standing at the end of a sidewalk that was perpendicular to a 30 foot wide stream.  For whatever reason, I was simply watching the water rush by and contemplating my life.  Just as I crouched low to look into the water, six people in white ceremonial garb waded down the stream in my direction, swishing nets from side to side.  There were two men, one boy, one girl, and two women.

While watching the women, as I am wont to do, the men approached me and one of them said, “You look weary, as though life has worn your spirits.  Perhaps we can help you with that.”  He then handed me a packet that looked almost exactly like the white packets that hold the powdered cheese in a box of mac and cheese.

I examined the packet which had printed upon it a set of directions.  Key to the use of this packet was that the person using it had to mix the contents with his own masturbatory ejaculate.  The mixture was then to be applied to the skin.

I looked at the men and said, “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

Then Brandy’s alarm clock went off, saving me from having to spank it into a mac and cheese packet.

So where’s the depth here, one might ask.  I can only guess that this dream is telling me that the flow of happiness in my life comes from masturbating but that I’d rather not get it on my skin.  This probably isn’t too far from the truth.

And now you know.

I have no patience.  If I did, I’d be making myself an origami Balrog (link goes to PDF).

“They” being RBR. During my last stop in the shop, Rob approached me about helping with a redesign of the RBR site. What made him think I’d be good for that? He found Disjunction and liked what I was doing here (specifically the regular blog entries).

So there you go, kids. Fill a blog with articles about bikes, furries, charities, electroshock therapy, and gadget reviews. It might just get you some site work. It’s not that I’m afraid of people finding Disjunction, it’s just that I never assume anybody is reading it beside my wife and folks reading FnDragon’s LJ friends list. I’m guessing that Rob was checking out his referral logs and saw it mentioned there.

In other news, I’ve sold my kayak. I was sad to see it hauled off in the hands of another man, but I was happy to see $350 in 20s and 10s in my hands. Next to go will likely be about 25% of my book collection - the stuff I have no intention of reading again or of reading for the first time. Normally, I’d trade those in at Webster’s for store credit, but getting credit just means I would replace books I didn’t read with more books I won’t read. For once, I think I’ll see what Webster’s will give me in cash.

Oh hey, I know… How about I turn this post into a virtual yard sale? Check my goods after the cut, yo. Read the rest of this entry »

I can’t help laughing every time I look at this, and I don’t know why.

Members of the Alaska Wilderness League, dressed in polar bear costumes, sit in the last row during U.S. Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne’s press conference in Washington on Wednesday, May 14, 2008. (AP / Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

This is quite stunning considering her absolute disdain for the comic book/superhero genre.  It helped, though, that she loves Robert Downey Jr. and that the movie was mostly him being a smartass and less about him fighting bad guys.

Which does not bode well for the sequel, at least for Brandy, since the discovery phase is over and any follow-ups will be mostly in armor.

Movie kicked ass, by the way.

Click for the big version.

Hopefully, that title got your attention. It’s a warning, folks. The contents of this post are not for the weak and not for those who are apt to put their fingers in their ears and yell “TOO MUCH INFORMATION” or simply fill the air with “LA LA LA LA LA” when uncomfortable topics are discussed.

Because of the nature of this entry, the entirety of it is stuck behind a “more” link. No use upsetting those who’d rather not see it.

Read the rest of this entry »

I have this incredibly bad habit of getting really excited about something, creating a web site for it, and then abandoning the site about 1-2 years later.  Adaptive Exchange, Sinistar DDR, and DDR4Health have all suffered this fate.

As I’m about to start a new site, I figured I’d take a look at my usage stats at my host to make sure I had space for a new venture.  I was amazed to see that I was getting higher traffic than I anticipated.  Apparently, I’ve had 32,514 unique visits to DDR4Health since the beginning of this year.  That site has been dead for ages.

So, further investigation shows that it’s still dead and just being hammered by spam bots.  I’ve long since shut down comments and the forums, so they have instead been submitting insane numbers of articles, reviews, and news items that have languished in an unpublished state.   Looks like I have some cleaning to do.

I would just remove the site if it weren’t for the fact that there is still some useful information there.

There’s an auto parts store along my commute to work. I was awfully tickled when I drove by and saw their roadside sign expressing the following:

SAVE GAS
BE INERT

That seemed excessively clever for an auto parts store and had me chuckling to myself for the rest of the drive. It stuck with me enough that I told Brandy all about it, expressing the novelty of somebody at an auto parts store referring to the properties of gases in their sign.

But then, driving by this morning, I took another look at the sign and saw:

SAVE GAS
AIR INSERT

Well, that’s quite a bit less clever and refers to products designed to increase fuel economy.

For whatever reason, my initial glance the day before turned “AIR INSERT” into “BE INERT” in order to find a clever joke where there was none to be found. This might be along the same lines as my wife stating that we should get “4 to 6 inches” in reference to the recent snowfall while my mind immediately latched onto it as a proposition for sexual intercourse.

It was not. I was to remain inert that night.

Brandy and I sometimes like to discuss the possible origins of the phrase “donkey balls”.  Part of this is because it seems like a ridiculous thing to use as a comparative statement.  The other part is that Brandy enjoys stating that something “sucks donkey balls”.

We still don’t know the origin of the phrase, but perhaps the mention of donkey genitalia in the Bible plays some part in its history.