As in, this game has stolen my free time for an entire evening.

I’ve never been a fan of the GTA series, not even when it got its start on the Amiga. The idea of an open expanse of game world populated by thugs, cops, and hookers never clicked with me. This isn’t to say I never tried. I did own a copy of Vice City for a while. I logged two hours of play time in it before giving up on the sub-par graphics and 80s satire.

For some reason, though, the massive hype train that brought GTA4 down the tracks hooked me and pulled me in. It was almost as though I would be missing out on the cultural gaming event of the year if I didn’t get in on this, so, with an established disdain for the series, I purchased a copy of GTA4 for the PS3.

I sat down in my gaming lair wondering if my $60 purchase was a mistake.

Five and a half hours later, I stumbled off to bed.

In between those moments, a lot of stuff happened:

1. Watched the game do a 3.3GB install to my PS3 hard drive
2. Played a more “mature” version of Crazy Taxi with the first few missions
3. Sat and watched stand up comedy on the virtual TV on my real TV
4. Stole cars to my heart’s content
5. Bowled, threw darts, and played pool
6. Beat up a homeless guy on the beach during a beautiful sunrise
7. Played Carmageddon
8. Took a girl out on a few dates, tried to make a move, was rejected
9. Picked up a prostitute, got the premium service, followed her out of the car, beat her with a bat, got my money back, watched the blood pool under her head as she lay on the pavement, backed my car up over her, hung out for a while until the ambulance arrived, pulled my gun on the driver who then exited and ran away, stole the ambulance, raced it through the streets with the siren blaring
10. Offed the first crime boss

Now, I’m not proud of #9. That was mostly done for the sake of having that experience in the GTA universe. Chances are quite good that I’ll never patronize a prostitute again in the course of playing this game. But I did want to do it at least once to see why everybody thought that was such a big deal. Turns out, it wasn’t.

I can’t tell you whether or not the game is fun. I only know that I want to play more of it. That’s not the same thing as “fun”. It’s more along the lines of curiosity - what will happen next? Will I ever have better clothes? How long until I can actually understand what the rastafarian is saying?